As a stay at home mom it can be very easy to get overwhelmed by all the housework that never seems to be done. How do other moms seem so put together? How do they get over the overwhelming feeling of guilt for never finishing or succeeding in keeping up the house?
As a Christian mom of 4 (number 5 is on its way!) I have a few principles I have to live by to keep myself from the overwhelm.
Glorify the Lord and Enjoy Him Forever
What is you goal in life? What is your purpose in life? And what is your chief end in life?
The Westminster Shorter Catechism states that “Man’s chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever”. Although these exact words are not in scripture the concept is clearly seen through the whole bible. God calls us to a relationship with him just like He had with Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. But due to our sin we have been separated from the relationship. Thanks be to God for Jesus Christ coming from heaven, God with man, suffering for our sin on the cross and giving us new life apart from sin in His own resurrection.
Now that we are saved from the power of sin in our lives we have a restored relationship with God. What does God now have for us in this relationship? To enjoy Him and glorify Him for who He is and what He has done. Revelation 4:11: “You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.”
How Does the Gospel Apply to Housework?
Now that we are reminded of the gospel (the good news) of Christ how does that overflow outside of Church and Bible Study and actually apply to my chores and housework? 1 Corinthians 10:31: “So whether you are eating or drinking, or whatever you are do, do it all to the glory of God”. How? What does that mean?
This is a mindset, or change of heart we must have. Let’s first ask “why am I washing the dishes?” “Doing the laundry?” “picking up these toys again?”. Is it for the shallow reasons of simply just having a clean house? What is your motivation? Be honest with yourself. Is it a pride issue? Or to earn favor from man? Often when we feel overwhelm over life it is because we have the wrong motivation behind our actions.
With the gospel in mind, lets ask again, “why would God have me do these chores?”. First lets remember that God created all things and he created us in his likeness. Then in the garden He gave Adam a job… before sin… to take care of the garden and the animals, naming them. Just as God has named all the stars and every grain of sand, He holds all things together, He then made Adam (man) his steward to work similarly. In His likeness. He gave Adam purpose and enjoyment in the works he prepared for him.
In sin, these works that God gave us are burdensome. To work is something God created for us to do while in perfect relationship with him. Without the gospel there is no true joy or satisfaction in our work. But in Christ we have joy unspeakable and freedom with do good works for Gods glory without the weight of sin telling us we are not good enough.
Christ Our Life, Not Just One Part
Often we try to compartmentalize our relationship with God. Sundays we go to church and that’s when we worship, In the morning I read my bible, and once a week I volunteer. Check, check, check. I’ve met up with God this week. NO! The scripture clearly states that Christ is to be Lord of our lives. In every aspect. Not just in “churchy” things but while mopping the floor, cleaning the toilets, even in the dentist chair.
The Israelite’s were told to remember, and to continually teach and give thanks for what God has done for them. In Romans 12 we are told to renew our mind and be transformed by the gospel. When Christ is our head, and to glorify Him and enjoy Him forever is our priority there is joy and satisfaction in everything else that we do.
Psalms 16:11 says “In His presence there is fullness of joy and His right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Continue in his presence through out the day, though out the chores and housework and you will have fullness of joy.
Keep A Simple Schedule
Now, even with the gospel in hand we cannot do everything. We are not God. He has prepared his good works us to do but that doesn’t mean we must be doing everything under the sun.
When your schedule keeps you out of the house for most of the week then household chores and housework are going to get neglected. You might think that because you are out of the house it wont be so messy or need as much work. Wrong, the laundry still piles up, the dishes don’t get done as you are eating and running out the door. You are tired when you get back from you outing and you think you will have time the next day to get the work done.
Staying home will get the housework done. But never going out and always saying no to outings is another mistake. There’s a different balance for everyone and it take trial, error and instinct to figure it out. Here are some tips to help you though.
Schedule Regular Outings
Schedule weekly outings for you and your family to be apart of as well as time at home. Our weekly schedule looks like this.
- Monday – I teach piano lessons from home, evening is family time.
- Tuesday – Story Time at the Library with friends – evening bible study with church friends.
- Wednesday – Homeschool co op – evening youth group bible study we serve at.
- Thursday – I bring the kids to clean the church – evening church worship band practice for me, kids have a fun night with dad.
- Friday – Is reserved for the random appointments and staying home.
- Saturday – Adventure or rest.
- Sunday – Church and extended family lunch and dinner.
This may not look like a simple schedule and some weeks it does not feel simple at all. But it is consistent. I’m able to work each day around my consistently scheduled events throughout the week. Being consistent makes the decision making and planing simple.
Make a list for yourself first on what outing naturally happen, then write out what you want your outings to look like.
Schedule Daily Blocks
Now that we have our weekly outings written out we can give ourselves a rough daily routine. First write out what your natural daily routine looks like, the good and the bad. Address the times you scroll though Instagram to much or what too much Youtube. Allow yourself some down time but be aware of your time wasters.
Write our your daily schedule out in time blocks rather than exact times. When your weekly schedule interferes don’t stress. Our daily schedule is more of something to fall back on rather than to control us.
Here is my daily schedule.
- 6:00am – Write on Blog
- 7:30 – Workout
- 8:00-9:00 Kids get up/Breakfast/Read Together
- 9:00-12:00 Household chores/meal prep/homeschool.
- 12:00pm – Lunch
- 1:00-3:00 – Catch up time or projects/hobbies. If I we were out in the morning I will catch up with chores and meal prepping during this time. If I’m all caught up on housework, I like to throw myself into a project or hobby like sewing, flipping furniture, creating a new recipe, deep cleaning or decluttering job.
- 3:00-5:00 – Nap time/Quiet time. My younger one take there naps while my older boys play and I go to my room and rest, work on blog, bible study.
- 5:00 – Finish making dinner
- 7:00 – Evening outings or family time.
- 9:00 – bed time for kids.
Again, this is the schedule I fall back on when I don’t know what to do next. It does not control me, I am not a slave to my schedule but it is a tool that helps me stay on top of all the housework I have to do and want to do. Friday’s are the only day that I might follow this schedule exactly. Every other day there is an interruption somewhere but I always know how to come back.
This daily schedule changes with season too. With all of lives changes we need to adapt. I like to rewrite this out every 6 month or so according to what comes most natural to me during that season. In the summer things are a little different than in winter because we our outside more. Gardening take a priority as well as swimming/water play, everyday. I’m due with baby number 5 this summer and nap times and nursing are bound to change the schedule.
List Your Priorities
Make a list of what is most important to you and your family with your husband. Start with your weekly commitments. Rank each item so that when you feel overwhelmed and you need a day at home you know what is important and what you can miss out on.
Know what is important to your husband and let him know what’s important to you. There will be times when you will have to sacrifice your ideals for his and he will sacrifice his for yours. Knowing each other passions will help you remove this unimportant commitments in your life before having to sacrifice too much.
For example. Two things my husband sees as priority is our ministry with the youth (wed) and family adventures (sat). I too priority our shared youth ministry as well as my music ministry (Thur & Sun). We both love our Tuesday night bible study but its the first evening activity to get thrown out if needed. Second is my Thursday night band practice (we have a Sunday morning practice too) and unless we are sick or have a newborn we do not miss Wednesday Youth Group.
Ranking each item on your weekly schedule and daily schedule help you see in the moment of what is truly important for your family. Giving you the freedom to take the less important things off in order to make the priorities happen without stress.
Declutter
The more stuff you have in your house the more housework and stress you will have. Now I’m not saying you need to be a minimalist in order to be successful in your home. What you have needs to bring you joy rather than stress. Having useless items around your house is, well, useless. If you love all the kitchen gadgets and use them then there’s no need to get rid of them. If you love your clothes and wear them, keep them. But if you find things in your closet that you know you are never going to fit in again or that is just not practical with your lifestyle anymore. Get it out.
Declutter a little bit at a time each week. Make decluttering a normal part of your chores and housework. Clean out the fridge, freezer or the spice cabinet. Do you really use all those towels in your linen closet or can two or three go making the door actually closable. If you are having a hard time containing something ask yourself if you need it as that much of it. Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to reorganize and declutter your whole house at once.
Realistic Expectations
You can easily set yourself up for failure in by giving yourself unrealistic expectations. It is unrealistic to have all the housework, chores, cooking, cleaning and laundry done completely. Its the way of life, we eat, clean up and make more food to eat again only to clean up again.
Its easy to get frustrated with the cycle thinking you are failing because the cycles continues but that is not the case. The cycle is beautiful and ordained by God. God created cycles in season, in weeks, in days, in weather and in the way plants grow and the way we are born to grow, live and die. This cycle of time that God created FOR us is beautiful and for his glory.
The cycle of the work within our home is a beautiful thing. We get to make life enjoyable with the work we put into the cycle. Making food that’s taste good, creating a space for relaxation and fun. Teaching children to read and watching them grow to love the Lord. It is a beautiful life.
Expecting the toys to cover the floor again minutes after you were finally able to vacuum after 2 or more week… will not disappoint you. Remember you kids are eager to work their brains with creative playing as a part of the beautiful cycle of life.
Don’t give yourself unrealistic goals but be honest with yourself. What housework can I get done today? How can you improve your schedule? Be aware of what is realistic and strive for it. Don’t get down on yourself or give up because you can’t obtain the Instagram house. The Instagram house is a stage, its not something people live in. Your home contains life, embrace your home.
More Verses for Encouragement
For more encouragement from scripture read some of these passages. Comment below with other scripture, points or resources that help you gain peace in craziness of life.
1 Peter 4:11, Romans 11:36, Philippians 4:6-8, Matthew 6: 25-33
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