How to Relax in Labor Naturally

Tips and relaxation techniques for a successful labor without an epidural. The key to a going through labor naturally is being able to relax through pain. Although it is very unnatural to relax while in pain it is doable, but practice will be needed. Here I will give you tips and techniques that that you can practice all throughout your pregnancy with your husband.

Table of Contents

• Your Husband Helping You Relax in Labor
• Ways of Handling Pain In Labor
• Massage Techniques For Labor
• Breathing Techniques For Labor
• Mental and Emotional Relaxation in Labor
• Have a Birth Plan

Your Husband Helping You Relax In Labor

Your husbands rule in the delivery room is to be your support and advocate. As your support he is to help you relax and remind you of the truths you know. You can do this, he is here to help you and guide you. If he is going to be able to do his job rightly you are going to have to communicate with him. Before your in labor, talk about how you like to relax and what is helpful and not helpful.

Practice, with your husband, your relaxation techniques. Ask him to massage you often and teach him what feel good and what doesn’t. Practice breathing techniques and explain what each type of breath is for. That way, in labor he can remind you to breath correctly.

As your advocate he is going to need to know what you want and what you don’t want. If he doesn’t know the little details of your desired birth experience he will not be able to help you communicate those things to the nurses and doctors.

If you are wanting a natural birth with no epidural you husband needs to know this and why. The two of you need to talk about when pain medication is allowed, if at all. If there is a emergency the two of you need to be on the same page as to what you want to do in those emergency situations.

What determines and emergency to you? Does breech mean an emergency? Are you opposed to someone reaching there hands up inside you to help baby out? Or is a c-section your only option? Conversations like this will help prepare your husband to be your best advocate.

Ways of Handling Pain In Labor

Before you can practice your relaxation techniques its important to know what you own first response is to handling pain. You might already know what some of your bad habits are or you might know exactly what works for you. Either way, go through this list and examine how you have handled pain in the past. Talk about this with your husband so he can help you handle the pain the correct way.

Massage Techniques for Labor

Massages are a great help during labor. The biggest problem is husbands don’t always know how to massage well. This is okay, here I will give a few simple instructions for you husband to follow.

The Stroking Technique

The stroking technique is simple slow stocking with either the palm of your hand or finger/fingernails. This can be very gentle or as much pressure as you like can be applied. Move down ward in sections of the body 3x each section. You can do the whole body like this or stick to just the arms or just the legs, whatever helps you relax.

The goal is to relax your whole body all at once. Pay close attention to your jaw, it tends to be the last thing we relax.

Local Massage Technique in Labor

Local massage is a focus on one part of the body at a time. When focusing on a single part of the body, like the foot or hand or hips, we want a bit more than just stroking. To give a local massage we will use our thumbs moving in small circles with lots of pressure.

The lower back and hips are typically the most needed place to massage during labor.

Take both hands to the hips with your thumbs on either side of the spine. Start moving you thumbs in small circles working you way to the sides of the hips.

You can apply this same massage technique on other parts of the body, the hands, feet, shoulders, neck, etc.

Practicing Massage

Once or twice a week, especially towards the end of your pregnancy, practice your relaxing with a massage. You can put on a movie/show/youtube/music/podcast that your husband likes (as long as he’s not too distracted and stops the massage). Both of you need to be comfortable. Get some lotion, coconut oil, or aloe vera for the massage.

Remember that the best way to show someone how to massage you is to massage them.

Start with the stroking technique and go through the whole body. Then focus on stroking the back and hips. Practice as if you are in labor. You can take a stop watch or timer, set it for 1-2 minutes. When it goes off pretend that is when you are feeling a contraction. When the contraction peaks you will most likely want more pressure on your low, lower back. Use the word “Pressure” to cue your husband to squeeze your hips. With the palm of his hands or his thumbs on either side of the spine (not on the spine) push down and out with lots of pressure. When the contraction is over he can go back to stroking your back.

Don’t forget to practicing your breathing with your massages

This is defiantly not the only way to massage but we are not looking to perfect our husbands massage techniques but to give him direction on how to help you relax during labor.

Breathing Techniques In Labor

Deep Abdominal Breathing

To relax during labor we must learn to breath properly. The correct breathing is no big secret. It is slow, deep, abdominal breaths. In through your nose and out through your mouth.

What I mean by ‘abdominal’ is that you fill your belly with air rather than your chest. If you chest gets tight you are doing it wrong. Relax your chest and fill your ribs and belly with air. Practice, breath In-2-3-4 out-2-3-4-5-6. Relax.

This type of breathing is the foundation to all your breathing during you labor. When a contraction begins focus on your breathing as you relax. At the peak, when its the most painful breath out. You might find yourself holding your breath at times and that is okay, but don’t hold for long. Do you best to breath out, through your mouth.

How to Breath when pushing

When it comes time to push our breathing will change just a little. You will still breath deeply and slowly but you might feel the need to hold your breath and bear down when you feel the urge to push. You can practice by counting In-2-3-4 Hold-2-3-4- Out-2-3-4-5-6. (don’t actually push when practicing)

You don’t have hold your breath if you don’t feel the need. Remember, don’t hold your breath for longer than you feel comfortable and don’t hold your breath or push if you don’t feel the natural urge.

How to slow down the natural urge to push with breathing

You might have heard many stories about nurses or doctors saying “don’t push” and the mom is like “ha! yeah right, I can’t control this!” That is the natural urge to push, you can’t help it. Or can you?

To slow down the natural urge to push you can breath quick, short breaths, not allowing yourself to bear down and push. You can picture these breaths as blowing out a candle many times, or like a dog panting. Quick, short, out-out-out-out-.

This may not stop the urge to push completely but it does help slow things down. Believe me, without this breathing technique I would have had baby number 3 in the car.

This quick breathing should only be done when you feel the urge to push but its not time yet. Don’t breath like this if you are not contracting or pushing. Deep, slow in and out breaths are best in order to relax in labor.

Reasons why you might be told to stop or slow down when pushing is if you have an anterior cervical lip, pushing against this could cause swelling and cause a painful, slow delivery. Another reason might be that the chord is wrap out the neck and the doctor whats to get it off before you push the rest of the baby out. Or maybe, like me, your babies fly out and you need to breath like this the whole time you push to avoid tearing. There are all sorts of reasons so if you are told to slow down or stop pushing, breath out-out-out-out-.

Mental and Emotional Relaxation in Labor

What we think about effects our psychical body. We think about food and we are suddenly hungry… we think about the most humiliating time in our life and we are sweating and feel sick. When we think about lovely, beautiful, sweet things we often relax and get dreamy.

The thoughts that you have during labor will effect your relaxation. If we are continually thinking “this is too hard” we are going to be emotionally discouraged and physically tired. So, when the thoughts of “I can’t do this”, “this is not what I was expecting”, “I want this to be done already” appear we need to have a plan.

Redirection Your Thoughts

How can you direct your thoughts to give you energy and encouragement? Some people like to listen to praise music or lullabies getting them excited about your baby. Other people like to picture or remember their favorite place or experience they once had. Some people just need to have a blank-like mind.

A blank mind is rarely possible. What you can do is picture colors, numbers, shapes, or things like that. Start by naming a random color in your head and picture it. Then name a new color and let it take over the other color. Choose a new color, number, shape or whatever category you want with each breath you take in to clear your mind.

If you need help with this, ask you husband to name the colors, animals, places for you. Practice at home. Have him pay attention to your breathing and name something new each time you breath in. Your cue phase can be “distract me with colors”, or whatever category you want.

Relaxing Through Changes of Emotions

You may feel a lot of different emotions during labor and that is normal. Especially during Transition, its a very emotional time for some. You will be excited, happy, nervous, fearful, confident, self-doubting, empowered, maybe even angry, very sad or even depressed at times.

Our thoughts again are what is going to help us relax in labor during these intense emotions. Remember this important fact of life, your emotions and feelings don’t control you thoughts and decisions.

When we, for no reason, feel sad we don’t need to then think about sad things. Catch yourself and remind yourself that although you feel sad you are excited about this new baby. Although you feel anger you really love your husband and are thankful for him and the nurses. Although you feel like you can’t do this you really can. You have people here to help you.

You don’t have to try and change the way your feel in that moment but give yourself peace by thinking on things that are true. Do not base your all thought off of how you feel, but instead let your thoughts determine how you feel.

Have a Birth Plan

A birth plan is a great way to have something for you, your husband, nurses, midwife, doula, sister, mom whoever is in the labor and delivery room with you to reference. Having a plan can help you relax in labor because a lot of the decisions are already made and communicated.

Having a plan for emergency situations is also a very good idea. Writing on your birth plan what blood type your are, any allergies to medications, procedures you want to avoid if at all possible. Alternative methods named on your birth plan so they can be discussed with your doctor before hand.

Talking about these things with your husband and doctors ahead of time will help you to relax in labor knowing you are all on the same page.

If you have read thus far you are well on your way to a successful natural birth. By practicing and planing these relaxation methods and techniques you be well prepare. Be confident, be brave, you can do this.