Table of Contents

• Your Husband Helping You Relax in Labor
• Ways of Handling Pain In Labor
• Massage Techniques For Labor
• Breathing Techniques For Labor
• Mental and Emotional Relaxation in Labor
• Have a Birth Plan

Your Husband Helping You Relax In Labor

Your husbands rule in the delivery room is to be your support and advocate. As your support he is to help you relax and remind you of the truths you know. You can do this, he is here to help you and guide you. If he is going to be able to do his job rightly you are going to have to communicate with him. Before your in labor, talk about how you like to relax and what is helpful and not helpful.

Practice, with your husband, your relaxation techniques. Ask him to massage you often and teach him what feel good and what doesn’t. Practice breathing techniques and explain what each type of breath is for. That way, in labor he can remind you to breath correctly.

As your advocate he is going to need to know what you want and what you don’t want. If he doesn’t know the little details of your desired birth experience he will not be able to help you communicate those things to the nurses and doctors.

If you are wanting a natural birth with no epidural you husband needs to know this and why. The two of you need to talk about when pain medication is allowed, if at all. If there is a emergency the two of you need to be on the same page as to what you want to do in those emergency situations.

What determines and emergency to you? Does breech mean an emergency? Are you opposed to someone reaching there hands up inside you to help baby out? Or is a c-section your only option? Conversations like this will help prepare your husband to be your best advocate.

Ways of Handling Pain In Labor

Before you can practice your relaxation techniques its important to know what you own first response is to handling pain. You might already know what some of your bad habits are or you might know exactly what works for you. Either way, go through this list and examine how you have handled pain in the past. Talk about this with your husband so he can help you handle the pain the correct way.

Massage Techniques for Labor

Massages are a great help during labor. The biggest problem is husbands don’t always know how to massage well. This is okay, here I will give a few simple instructions for you husband to follow.

The Stroking Technique

The stroking technique is simple slow stocking with either the palm of your hand or finger/fingernails. This can be very gentle or as much pressure as you like can be applied. Move down ward in sections of the body 3x each section. You can do the whole body like this or stick to just the arms or just the legs, whatever helps you relax.

The goal is to relax your whole body all at once. Pay close attention to your jaw, it tends to be the last thing we relax.

Move downward from

• head to neck 3x
• neck to shoulders 3x
• (right arm than left arm, or both at the same time)
• shoulders to elbow 3x
• elbow to wrist 3x
• wrist to fingers tips 3x
• (right side then left side, or both at the same time)
• shoulder to mid back 3x
• mid back to lower back 3x
• (right leg then left leg, or both at the same time)
• lower back to knee 3x
• knee to ankle 3x
• ankle to toes 3x

Repeat from top or go back up the opposite way still stroking downwards.

Local Massage Technique in Labor

Local massage is a focus on one part of the body at a time. When focusing on a single part of the body, like the foot or hand or hips, we want a bit more than just stroking. To give a local massage we will use our thumbs moving in small circles with lots of pressure.

The lower back and hips are typically the most needed place to massage during labor.

Take both hands to the hips with your thumbs on either side of the spine. Start moving you thumbs in small circles working you way to the sides of the hips.

You can apply this same massage technique on other parts of the body, the hands, feet, shoulders, neck, etc.

Practicing Massage

Once or twice a week, especially towards the end of your pregnancy, practice your relaxing with a massage. You can put on a movie/show/youtube/music/podcast that your husband likes (as long as he’s not too distracted and stops the massage). Both of you need to be comfortable. Get some lotion, coconut oil, or aloe vera for the massage.

Remember that the best way to show someone how to massage you is to massage them.

Start with the stroking technique and go through the whole body. Then focus on stroking the back and hips. Practice as if you are in labor. You can take a stop watch or timer, set it for 1-2 minutes. When it goes off pretend that is when you are feeling a contraction. When the contraction peaks you will most likely want more pressure on your low, lower back. Use the word “Pressure” to cue your husband to squeeze your hips. With the palm of his hands or his thumbs on either side of the spine (not on the spine) push down and out with lots of pressure. When the contraction is over he can go back to stroking your back.

Don’t forget to practicing your breathing with your massages

This is defiantly not the only way to massage but we are not looking to perfect our husbands massage techniques but to give him direction on how to help you relax during labor.

Breathing Techniques In Labor

Deep Abdominal Breathing

To relax during labor we must learn to breath properly. The correct breathing is no big secret. It is slow, deep, abdominal breaths. In through your nose and out through your mouth.

What I mean by ‘abdominal’ is that you fill your belly with air rather than your chest. If you chest gets tight you are doing it wrong. Relax your chest and fill your ribs and belly with air. Practice, breath In-2-3-4 out-2-3-4-5-6. Relax.

This type of breathing is the foundation to all your breathing during you labor. When a contraction begins focus on your breathing as you relax. At the peak, when its the most painful breath out. You might find yourself holding your breath at times and that is okay, but don’t hold for long. Do you best to breath out, through your mouth.

How to Breath when pushing

When it comes time to push our breathing will change just a little. You will still breath deeply and slowly but you might feel the need to hold your breath and bear down when you feel the urge to push. You can practice by counting In-2-3-4 Hold-2-3-4- Out-2-3-4-5-6. (don’t actually push when practicing)

You don’t have hold your breath if you don’t feel the need. Remember, don’t hold your breath for longer than you feel comfortable and don’t hold your breath or push if you don’t feel the natural urge.

How to slow down the natural urge to push with breathing

You might have heard many stories about nurses or doctors saying “don’t push” and the mom is like “ha! yeah right, I can’t control this!” That is the natural urge to push, you can’t help it. Or can you?

To slow down the natural urge to push you can breath quick, short breaths, not allowing yourself to bear down and push. You can picture these breaths as blowing out a candle many times, or like a dog panting. Quick, short, out-out-out-out-.

This may not stop the urge to push completely but it does help slow things down. Believe me, without this breathing technique I would have had baby number 3 in the car.

This quick breathing should only be done when you feel the urge to push but its not time yet. Don’t breath like this if you are not contracting or pushing. Deep, slow in and out breaths are best in order to relax in labor.

Reasons why you might be told to stop or slow down when pushing is if you have an anterior cervical lip, pushing against this could cause swelling and cause a painful, slow delivery. Another reason might be that the chord is wrap out the neck and the doctor whats to get it off before you push the rest of the baby out. Or maybe, like me, your babies fly out and you need to breath like this the whole time you push to avoid tearing. There are all sorts of reasons so if you are told to slow down or stop pushing, breath out-out-out-out-.

Mental and Emotional Relaxation in Labor

What we think about effects our psychical body. We think about food and we are suddenly hungry… we think about the most humiliating time in our life and we are sweating and feel sick. When we think about lovely, beautiful, sweet things we often relax and get dreamy.

The thoughts that you have during labor will effect your relaxation. If we are continually thinking “this is too hard” we are going to be emotionally discouraged and physically tired. So, when the thoughts of “I can’t do this”, “this is not what I was expecting”, “I want this to be done already” appear we need to have a plan.

Redirection Your Thoughts

How can you direct your thoughts to give you energy and encouragement? Some people like to listen to praise music or lullabies getting them excited about your baby. Other people like to picture or remember their favorite place or experience they once had. Some people just need to have a blank-like mind.

A blank mind is rarely possible. What you can do is picture colors, numbers, shapes, or things like that. Start by naming a random color in your head and picture it. Then name a new color and let it take over the other color. Choose a new color, number, shape or whatever category you want with each breath you take in to clear your mind.

If you need help with this, ask you husband to name the colors, animals, places for you. Practice at home. Have him pay attention to your breathing and name something new each time you breath in. Your cue phase can be “distract me with colors”, or whatever category you want.

Relaxing Through Changes of Emotions

You may feel a lot of different emotions during labor and that is normal. Especially during Transition, its a very emotional time for some. You will be excited, happy, nervous, fearful, confident, self-doubting, empowered, maybe even angry, very sad or even depressed at times.

Our thoughts again are what is going to help us relax in labor during these intense emotions. Remember this important fact of life, your emotions and feelings don’t control you thoughts and decisions.

When we, for no reason, feel sad we don’t need to then think about sad things. Catch yourself and remind yourself that although you feel sad you are excited about this new baby. Although you feel anger you really love your husband and are thankful for him and the nurses. Although you feel like you can’t do this you really can. You have people here to help you.

You don’t have to try and change the way your feel in that moment but give yourself peace by thinking on things that are true. Do not base your all thought off of how you feel, but instead let your thoughts determine how you feel.

Have a Birth Plan

A birth plan is a great way to have something for you, your husband, nurses, midwife, doula, sister, mom whoever is in the labor and delivery room with you to reference. Having a plan can help you relax in labor because a lot of the decisions are already made and communicated.

Having a plan for emergency situations is also a very good idea. Writing on your birth plan what blood type your are, any allergies to medications, procedures you want to avoid if at all possible. Alternative methods named on your birth plan so they can be discussed with your doctor before hand.

Talking about these things with your husband and doctors ahead of time will help you to relax in labor knowing you are all on the same page.

If you have read thus far you are well on your way to a successful natural birth. By practicing and planing these relaxation methods and techniques you be well prepare. Be confident, be brave, you can do this.

The post How to Relax in Labor Naturally appeared first on Embracing The Home.

• Pre-Labor
• Early First Stage Labor
• Active First Stage Labor
• Transition
• Second Stage Labor
• Post-Labor

Here I want you to understand these different stages of labor by knowing what happens during each stage, the type of contractions and sensations you will feel, as well as some of the emotional and behavioral signs during each stage of labor. I will also explain the Natural Alignment Plateau (NAP), how labor is not always perfectly consistent.

Pre-Labor

What happens in Pre-Labor

Towards the end of your pregnancy you will experience some more changes within your body. Some are noticeable and some are not. Most common is Braxton-Hicks contractions, but there is more.

Your body will start producing hormones such as Relaxin and Hyaluronidase. You will start to produce Colostrum and immunities that you baby will need and receive through nursing. You blood volume will increase by 40-50%. The cervix will also began to soften and you will loose the mucous plug.

Contractions and Sensations during Pre-Labor

Braxton-Hicks

The feeling of Braxton-Hicks is a little different for everyone. Some describe it as feeling like menstrual cramps while others describe it as a tight hard feeling around their stomach and uterus. They are typically not painful but can be very uncomfortable. I find it best to remember to smile each time I feel them. Remembering my body is amazing and giving birth, although painful, is beautiful and something to look forward to.

Note: I’m 30 weeks pregnant and was having some very uncomfortable consistent Braxton-Hicks, I was asked by my sister “are you dehydrated?”. Yes, I was. Water and electrolytes (and a nap) calmed everything down.

With Braxton-Hicks there is no rhythm or consistent timing with them at all. They come and go and can be short or long.

Braxton-Hicks are sometimes called practice contractions or false labor. It true that they are not labor contraction but they are preparing you for labor. These practice contractions are conditioning or warming up and strengthening your muscles for the real workout. Braxton-Hicks also help with effacement, the thinning of the cervix before dilating.

Relaxin and Hyaluronidase

These two hormones will start to increase naturally in your body as you get closer to giving birth. Relaxin will help soften your joints and ligaments towards the end of your pregnancy. You might feel some hip or pelvic pain, due to slipping of joints. It can be uncomfortable but you can smile at this as well knowing while you push out your baby your joints and ligaments will be able to stretch accordingly.

If you have joint or hip pain try some easy stretches and lots of little movement to help keep everything aligned. If needed you can also receive chiropractic care or massage therapy.

Hyaluronidase is a natural enzyme that helps soften the cervix. You will not likely notice this happening but be glad that it is. Dilation and effacement is depended on it.

Colostrum

Colostrum is the first milk you will produce for baby. It is high in protein, antibodies, vitamins and minerals all designed to give your baby the best nutrients to develop a strong immune system right away.

You will start to produce colostrum towards the end of your pregnancy as the rest of your body gets ready for labor you will also be getting ready to feed and provide everything your baby needs through your milk. Amazing! You may notice some tenderness, some colostrum discharge or a fuller shape in your breast as you near the end of your pregnancy.

Emotional Signs and Behavior During Pre-Labor

Those last few weeks of pregnancy can an emotional roller coaster! You are so excited yet so tired. Ready for whats next, yet not able to cause anything to happen. Anxious, excited, eager, while nesting.

Take your time to relax and enjoy the time. Also, give yourself plenty of little things to do and look forward to doing the next day to distract yourself. Go on walks, get your hair cut and nails done. Wash all those little baby clothes and fold each one with a prayer. Take you time to do things and have things to do.

Early First Stage Labor

What happens in Early First Stage Labor

It begins. This is it, although most of the time you still are not sure its truly happening. You will start to experience labor contractions. If you haven’t loosed you mucus plug you will now, possibly have some bloody show, and you may experience diarrhea. You will begin to dilate and you cervix will thin with effacement.

It is possible for you water to brake during any stage of Labor. For my first my water broke 45 minutes before I started experiencing any contractions. It was my first sign of Labor starting. With my second child my water broke with first (out of a total of two) pushes.

Contractions and Sensations during Early First Stage Labor

Contractions during early first stage labor are generally 10 or more minutes apart. They can range between 30-60 seconds long. They can feel a lot like strong Braxton-Hicks but the difference will be that they don’t go away with a change of activity or position. Sometimes it will be hard to tell if its true labor or false labor.

As the contractions get a little stronger you may also feel some cramping or pressure with your contractions. Moving around, walking will typically feels good. The more your move around gently, like walking, the more relaxed your muscles and ligaments will be. Tight muscles and ligaments will cause more pain. Walking also helps open up the pelvis, letting baby move down with ease.

You may get hungry or very thirsty, eating and drinking is important to remember during this stage. Later you may loose your appetite and you need the energy.

False Labor

I had false labor with my 3rd child. For 8 hours I experienced contractions that ranged from 10 eventually to 3 minutes apart. They were never very strong but were consistent. I went to the hospital and within a few minutes of being monitored they stopped. The nurse was very nice. Confirmed to me that I was having contractions, she saw them on the monitor. The day before at an appointment I was checked and was dilated at a 4. When the nurse check me after my 8 hours of contractions I was still at a 4.

These contractions were not true labor but paved the way so that 5 days later my body was so ready, my true labor was less than 2 hours. I almost gave birth in the car. Its a great story for another time.

My experience with false labor is that felt a lot like early stage labor but then stopped. The contractions did get stronger or harder as they got closer together.

Emotional Signs and Behavior During Early First Stage Labor

When in early labor you will be guessing, “is this it?”, “is this true labor or false?”. You may feel anxious, unsure, excited and nervous. You may be unsure if you should start keeping track of contractions.

Active First Stage Labor

What Happens in Active Labor

In first stage active labor you will dilate to about 6 or 7 centimeters. Effacement will also continue to progress. Contractions will be consistent typically around 5 minutes apart and 60 seconds long. They will become more powerful. You might become very thirsty, and loose your appetite. If you are hungry, eat.

You will also loose your sense of modesty. Nothing crazy, you just wont care. You will make yourself comfortable.

You baby will be dropping in ‘station’. ‘Station’ is how they measure how low you baby has dropped according to your pelvic ischial spine.

Contractions and Sensations During Active Labor

Contractions will become very close during active labor. The will be powerful, lasting about 60 seconds and around 5 minutes apart. You may be able to talk and move around during contraction but it will get a lot harder to do so.

You will feel more pressure on your bladder during contractions and might have to pee a little with each contraction. A lot of women may find themselves wanting to sit on the toilet or be in the shower during this stage.

You may also want to feel counter pressure on your lower back, feet, or shoulders or even your cervix. With my second birth my husband spent a lot of time massaging my feet and with each contraction he would squeeze them or push on my heel. It felt like relief. As the contraction got stronger I felt more out of control. The counter pressure was grounding and I gained my control and ability to relax through the pain.

Emotional Signs and Behavior During Active Labor

You will become more focused. Less talkative. You will not want to be disturbed but will be focused on what is happening inside your body rather than what going on in the room around you.

You may want music or some sort of background noise for relaxation. For some that is too much and you will want perfect silence.

You might still want to move or walk around but it will be slow and deliberate movements. A birthing ball is very helpful for that little but needed movement. Or, you may want to lie down very still as if you were sleeping. Resting and conserving your energy. You do not now how long your labor will be so conserve your energy physically and mentally.

The Natural Alignment Plateau (NAP)

Although this is typically not a “Stage” of labor it is very important to know and remember. The natural alignment plateau simply put, is that, labor does not always progress consistently.

For example, you may get checked to see how far you are dilated. The Dr/nurse says you are at a 4. After an hour you are now at a 5! So in your mind you may think “I’m dilating 1 cm every hour, I have 5 hours left.” NO, it may take 3 hours to get to a 6, or 30 minutes.

Depending on how soft the cervix is, the physical alignment of the baby in the birthing canal, your hormones, if you muscles need a break (they will take the break they need), production of immunities for baby. All these things can speed up or slow down contraction and labor.

Some people have even taken naps after they have gone through transition. There body needed a rest before they began pushing so contractions got easier and further apart and they were able to take a 10-20 minute nap before they felt the natural urge to push.

So remember that everyone’s body has a different timing for each and every thing that happens in her body during labor. So if things seem to slow down, don’t get discouraged. Remember you body knows when it needs a break in order to be 100% ready for the next part of labor. Labor is not a sprint, its a marathon. Conserve energy when you get the chance.

Transition

What Happens in Transition

Transition is an intense time between first stage labor and second stage labor. You will typically dilate from about an 8 to 10 very quickly during this stage. Transition is typically the hardest part of labor, pushing is not easy task, but with transition comes self-doubt and confusion. Remember, transition is the beginning of the end. Your baby will be here soon!

Contractions and Sensations Transition

Contractions are close together and long, 60-90 seconds. The can are often back to back giving you no rest in between. You may feel the baby moving down low into the pelvic with a lot of pressure.

Sweating, vomiting, hot and cold, nausea are all very common during this time. If your water has not broken it is likely to at this time.

Emotional Signs and Behavior Transition

This stage is the most emotional. You may experience self doubt, a feeling of giving up and surrender. This is the time most women ask for pain medication. This is also often the time the nurses will tell you an epidural is out of the question, its too late. If that is the case don’t be mad, be encouraged its almost over. You can do it!

Due to all the intense sensations you may experience a lot of emotional response that you don’t understand. You may experience panic, quick changes of mood, anger, laughter, sadness all within moments of each other.

Funny Story: I was walking in a park down the street from the hospital while in labor with my 4th. As we were headed back to the car to go to the hospital we were passing by lots of little kids practicing soccer. I started going through transition crying hysterically, barely able to walk and then the cry turned into laughing like a mad women! I was very loud and probably scared lots of children but I didn’t look back just got into the car and drove away.

The good news is that transition does not last long. It is normally between 10-30 minutes. Remember transition is a normal part of labor. You may be feeling out of control but that does not mean there is anything wrong. You may feel fear but you fear is not based on facts. Let others know how what you are feeling so they can help reassure you that everything is okay. Believe them and surrender. Let your body relax, cry and remember you get to hold your baby soon.

Second Stage Labor

What Happens in Second Stage Labor

Second stage labor means it just about over. This stage can still be as short as 15 minutes to around 4 hours. You will feel a calmness (after the storm of transition) and a determination. This is the stage that you will feel a natural urge to push with your contractions. You may have some bloody discharge. If you water has not broken it will.

In second stage labor you might feel everything slow down. Contractions might calm down a lot for a while in order to rest your muscles. After going through transitions this might seem wrong, like your taking a step back. You might feel the need to move along, lets get this done! Remember NAP. You are not taking a step back, your body is just preparing for the next big thing at the right time.

Contractions and Sensations During Second Stage Labor

Unless you body decides to take a break contractions typically get stronger. With your contractions you will feel a pressure so strong it will make you push naturally. When this starts do not push anymore than your body naturally pushes. Conserve your energy and let you body determine how strong and how long to push. Do not push if you do not feel a contraction. You might not feel the urge to push at every contraction. If you don’t feel it, don’t push. Conserve your energy. Relax.

When you baby is crowning, and you cervix is at its widest (13-14cm) you will feel a burning sensation we call “The Ring of Fire”. This feeling is typically for only a few moments. Once you push the head out it will go away like it was never there. Then the most satisfying feeling of release as the baby comes out. This is my favorite part! The feeling out the baby sliding out with so much release of pressure and pain bring my so much joy!

Emotional Signs and Behavior During Second Stage Labor

At this point in labor, modesty is gone. You will not care or even notice how much of you is exposed or covered. Often you will experience a feeling of determination. After the self-doubt of transition you will feel like new person. You will know you can do this and sometimes get a second wind. You might be more talkative and alert during this stage or you might concentrate inwardly with an intense focus.

But don’t forget or be discouraged if you feel so tired you take a nap in between contractions. This does not mean you are regressing, this is still progress. Remember NAP.

Post Labor – Third Stage of Labor

What Happens Post Labor

Your baby is born! You are done! Well… almost. Post Labor is the last stage of labor. This is different from postpartum, which is a whole other article.

In post labor you will continue to experience contractions. You still need to push out the placenta. This is so much easier than all your other labor.

The nurses or midwife will come and push on your belly, feeling the uterus. This can be very painful and uncomfortable. They want to feel the uterus and make sure it continues to contract to reduce the risk of hemorrhaging. As it contracts it will help slow down your bleeding so you don’t loose too much blood too quickly.

Contractions and Sensations During Post Labor

Typically the contraction are not as bad as they just where. I personally have barely notice them in comparison to what I just went through with pushing and transition. Others say they were horrible and unexpected. Often Dr’s will give Pitocin (oxytocin) after you deliver to make sure you continue to contract and don’t hemorrhage. Pitocin induces contractions and can cause them to be more painful than necessary. It is sometimes needed but often can be avoidable.

Try to nurse your baby right away. I always try to get my babies latched before as soon as I’m holding them. When you start to nurse you will release your own natural oxytocin that will help with contractions and slowing down bleeding.

By nursing right away you will also be giving you newborn the natural antibodies with the colostrum that you just made. This gives your baby the needed nutrients it needs to protect its self from all the new elements it will be coming into contact with as they enter our world.

Emotional Signs and Behavior During Post Labor

Other sensation and behaviors you may feel after birth is sweating, shaking or shivering, lots of adrenaline. You might also feel dizzy or nauseous due to the loss of blood. Let people take care of you and relax. You body needs rest, so rest and relax.

A feeling of relief along with so many other emotions as you get to see and hold your new born baby. The best thing to do is stay warm, drink water and juice or electrolytes. Eat if hungry. Relax and enjoy your new born baby!

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